Episode 4: The Cable Guy Rebellion

(Setting: Reverie's Dream House...since her own sucks and is too small to carry all the characters that are gathered in this omake.)
(TLP Characters Involved: Rei, Fia, Orion, Nickoli, Bekah, Teji, Taj, Akaiokami, Nook...don't ask me why, he'll just be there.)

Reverie: (screams in frustration)

Xaden: (grunts, wakes up, falls off the couch and looks around, eyes wide open) Wha...huh?! What happened?! Where's the army?! (sees no one, then nods, curls up on the couch, and falls asleep again)

Rest of TLP Cast: (twitches) Now what?!

Reverie: "Ooo, Broadband will be sooo great!" they say! "Yeah, you'll be screaming you're head off once you find the true power of Broadband!" they'll continue! But nooo, IT WAS ALL A SCAM, I TELL YOU! ONE MUTHER(--censored--) SCAM! I'M SCREAMING MY HEAD OFF IN FRUSTRATION!!!

Nook: (sarcastically) Woof.

Nickoli: (pokes her back) Might I ask...what is a scam?

Reverie: It's evil, I tell you! Pure evil! The cable guys come, they try to hook up Broadband, a supposedly "great internet access thinggie," and all that it does good is to NOT WORK AND TAKE AWAY MY ORIGINAL INTERNET ACCESS SO THAT I AM STUCK WITH MANY RPGS TO WORK WITH, HUNDREDS OF JUNK MAIL TO DELETE, AND MANY OTHER MISSED EMAILS ONCE I FIGURE THIS (--censored--) THING OUT! (screams again)

Orion: Why is there censoring, by the way?

Reverie: (shrugs) Dee did it, thought that it might add to the humor, since most of this is just to blow off a bunch of steam to begin with.

Bekah: Figures. Must be a writer thing. "Thou shalt take anger out naught on homo sapiens nor other living things, but take it out on them in literary format." (grins)

Reuel: (walks by randomly...luckily fully clothed. But this might change soon....)

Wulph (Reverie's friend): (points to Reuel) PIT STICK! (runs and glomps his arm)

Reuel: O.o (shakes her off)

Wulph: (slides down and glomps his leg instead, rubbing her face against his jeans) Pit Sticky!

Reverie: (smacks her forehead) I have no idea why she likes Reuel so much.

Reuel: Hey! (tries to kick Wulph off him) I'm a married man still! Of course, my wife is dead, but OBSERVE THE RING! (holds up his wedding band)

Wulph: ...so?

Reuel: ...

Nook: (sarcastically) Woof.

Taj: (runs around randomly in the background) THE END IS NIGH!

Rei: ...I speak no evil. Rarr.

Orion: ...

All: ...

Joy (a friend of Reverie's who happens to be a bible thumper): THE END IS NIGH! WE ARE ALL DOOMED INTO ETERNAL DAMNATION!

All: ...

Reverie: Okay, this is my omake! EVERYONE WHO ISN'T OF THE LUPIS PROJECT EXCEPT FOR YOURS TRULY: OUT! OUT! OUT! (boots a very happy Wulph and Reuel off to Lemon Land and Joy back to Hawaii so that they're out of the omake) For the love of Kiaka.... (smacks her forehead) How hard is it to vent on someone who just (--censored--) you're internet system?

Orion: ...well, you can always try and write an omake.

Bekah: (whacks the back of his head) What do you think she's doing now, idiot?

Rei: (eyes glare red) DON'T TOUCH MY ORION! (kicks her)

Bekah: (sarcastically) Ow. (twitches)

All: ...

Reverie: Anyway.... (takes up a pitchfork and a torch from nowhere) Time to do some venting.

Cast: O.O

Taj: Um, someone mind holding her down while I get the tranquilizer?

Teji: Already on it. RAGNAR!

(Ragnar comes in randomly with some bunji cords, picks up Reverie like she's a doll, and ties her down to a stretcher so that she can't move. Then since he had no other purpose in the omake, he leaves without saying a word)

Reverie: (naturally struggles) ...YOU CAN'T DO THIS!

Teji: Sure we can! ^-^

Taj: (hands Teji the tranquilizer)

Rei: Does anyone find this a little cruel? I mean, she is our creator after all. (reflects all that Reverie puts her through) Ah, this isn't too bad. BURN HER AT THE STAKE! BURN THE WITCH!

Reverie: ...

Bekah: Since y'all are hesitating.... (snatches the syringe from Teji's hand, and sticks it into Reverie's upper arm) DIE BITCH, DIE!

Teji: (pokes Bekah) Uhh, it doesn't kill her.

Bekah: ...damn! Damn it all to Hell!

Reverie: ...OH THE HUMANITY! OH THE IRONY! I MUST....ve...ve...ven...t.... (falls asleep)

(FF8's Censored: Please Stand By sign appears)

--random quote alert--"I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it." - John F. Kennedy when asked what is his favorite song--end of random quote--

(now we return to you're regular scheduled omake)

Nook: (sarcastically) Woof.

(everyone is scattered around Reverie's dream house, which would continently consist of Lazy Boy reclining chairs, couches, and clouds...don't ask)

Rei: (checks the clock) It's been three hours.

Bekah: Taj, how much was in there?

Taj: I just got however much I could.

Teji: (smacks his forehead) You idiot....

Taj: What? You don't think I do these sorts of things for a living? I saw it all on ER last week, it's always easy for them. (shrugs)

Reverie: ... (groans, waking up and finds herself bounded by the stretcher) Okay, someone is gonna die if they don't get me out of here. Seriously, I'm you're creator! I BROUGHT YOU ALL INTO THIS WORLD, I CAN EASILY TAKE YOU ALL OUT!

Cast: O.O

Reverie: ...any day now!

Cast: ...

Reverie: NOW!

Orion: Think we should...?

Rei: (shaking her head) No.

Orion: (nods) Okay.

Reverie: YOU'LL ALL DIE ONE DAY! ONE DAY! BWAHAHAHA!

Bekah: If we let you go, promise you won't go insane on us again?

Reverie: Well, not on you guys.

Cast: ...WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!

Reverie: (malicious grin) You'll see. Just be a good bunch of characters and lemme go!

Nickoli: (walks over apprehensively with a key in hand)

Nook: (sarcastically) Woof.

Reverie: (grins)

Nickoli: ...hey, she's already unlocked!

Reverie: Exactly. (gets up, does a slow-mo karate kick in the air from the stretcher, and knocks Nickoli backwards over a Lazy Boy Cloud. Lands back onto the ground, popping her knuckles and does a martial arts stance) Anyone wanna peice of me?

Cast: ... o.O

Nickoli: Owie....

Orion: That wasn't called for!

Reverie: Of course it was! ^-^

Teji: QUICK, SOMEONE, SUSTAIN HER!

Reverie: Weeeeeee! (holds her hand out like a football player as everyone tries to tackle her, running passed them and knocking everyone to the side, flying over chairs and knocking random stuff here and there over) NO ONE CAN STOP ME FROM GETTING MY REVENGE NOW! TO STARBUCKS COFFEE! ...just because I never liked the place. (runs out)

Rei: (clicks on her intercom) Grey Wolf to Red Chick. Grey Wolf to Red Chick, this is Grey Wolf. The Essayist Loon has left the building! I repeat: The Essayist Loon has left the building!

Cast: ...

Fia (INTERCOM): ...Rei? What're you talkin about?!

Orion: Okay, I am now thoroughly confused.

Bekah: You can say that again.

Nickoli: Umm...a little help here? I think I just broke my spine.... (twitch) ETAI!

Fia (INTERCOM): Rei, follow her and see what she's up to. I'm a little...busy. (clicky-click)

Ragnar (INTERCOM): SPINY! ...left hand on red!

Fia (INTERCOM): Hee, that tickled!

Rei: O_O (drops the mic) Oh my god....

Cast: (too stunned and scared to say anything else)

(meanwhile, at Starbucks Coffee)

Akaiokami: (crashes into Starbucks) Hi there, everyone! Hope you don't mind me barging in like this, I just wanted to let y'all know that I'm gonna kill you all. I hope you won't mind, too kindly! Hey, me want coffee! (insane laugh) I just wanted to get you're consent...wait, no I didn't! (insane laugh again)

Man In Background: OH MY GOD! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!

Akaiokami: ...well, duh. Didn't I just say that? Hey, where's my coffee?

Clerk: Uh, s-sir, I'm sorry, we have a long line of people--

Akaiokami: Oh, that's too bad. What line of people?

Clerk: (looks down at the huge line of dead civilians) OH MY GOD, WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!

Akaiokami: (rolls eyes) Is there anyone who can give me my DAMN coffee?!

(the door behind him crashes open so hard, they fly off, one door hits in the clerk in the face)

Clerk: Oh cruel fate! (dies)

Akaiokami: Hm. Well, that was uncanny.

Reverie: AKAIOKAMI, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!

Akaiokami: Eh? (turns around and waves) Oh, hi writer woman lady person! Mind making me some coffee?

Reverie: (glares) Don't play cute with me, mister! You KNOW I'm here on business!

Akaiokami: Business? Eh? What'choo talkin about?

Reverie: YOU ORDERED THOSE CABLE GUYS TO COME OVER HERE AND (--censored--) MY INTERNET CONNECTION TO (--censored--) (--censored--) (--censored--) YOU MUTHER(--censored--) (--censored--)!!!

Akaiokami: (blinks) Well, the least you can do is calm down just a little--

Reverie: I DON'T HAVE TIME TO CALM DOWN! I WANT YOU TO EITHER GIVE ME ANOTHER (--censored--) COMPUTER OR (--censored--) FIX IT!

Akaiokami: ...how bout makin me some coffee?

Reverie: (screams furiously)

Akaiokami: (cringes) ...okay then. Umm.... I have no idea what you're talking about?

Reverie: YES YOU DO!

Akaiokami: No I don't.

Reverie: YES YOU DO!

Akaiokami: No I don't.

Reverie: YES YOU DO!

Akaiokami: No I don't.

Reverie: YES YOU DO!

Akaiokami: No I don't.

Reverie: YES YOU DO!

Akaiokami: ...shut up.

Reverie: BITE ME!

Akaiokami: Okay! (starts walking towards her)

Reverie: (glares) Not that sort of bite, perv!

Akaiokami: (skulks, disappointed) Fine.

Rei: (enters) What's up--? (glares at the red-armored freak) Akaiokami, what're you doing here?

Reverie: (points at Akaiokami) HE'S THE ONE THAT MESSED UP MY INTERNET CONNECTION! I CAN PROVE IT!

Akaiokami: Don't be foolish, foolish human! T'wasn't me who messed with you're connection! (laughs menacingly) ^-^

Reverie: Then who did?!

Akaiokami: A couple of friends of mind. (snaps his fingers, and the two cable guys who (--censored--) Reverie's internet connection appear from the back room)

Cable Guy A: (holding up a pot) You're coffee, sir!

Cable Guy B: French Vanilla, no mayo...I mean...whipping cream...I mean.... Cream. Yeah! There is absolutely no creams in you're coffee, O Great One!

Cable Guy A: (thwacks Cable Guy B) Moron! (turns to Akaiokami) You're Greatness, HERE IS YOUR COFFEE!

Reverie: (glares) You scum! You make me sick!

Rei: ...erm...YEAH!

Reverie: (turns to Rei) Let's put the fact that I'm so mean to you, and you can totally beat the crap out of me aside, and join forces to defeat Akaiokami and the Cable Guys? Of course, it'll be a two to three fight, but what the hell, we can beat em, right?

Rei: (shrugs) Whatever.

Reverie: ...right. And like you two aren't human?

Cable Guy A: As a matter of fact.... (transforms into an insanely huge Okim)

Cable Guy B: (does the same) ...we aren't.

(Ultima Weapon Theme from FF8 starts playing)
(Insert: Battle Scene)

Rei: WIRED ATTACK FROM THE ABYSS OF DEN DOOM! (does a drop kick in the air, flips, and attacks Okim Cable Guy B first)

Okim Cable Guy B: Well now, that can't be good. SPARE THE CHEESE, O GREAT ONE! (dies for no real apparent reason)

Reverie: (quirks a brow, oblivious to Rei's victory) Wired Attack From The Abyss of Den Doom?

Rei: What? I don't have that kind of originality like you do.

Reverie: Considering that I am the one writing this?

Rei: And I was created from you?

Akaiokami and Okim Cable Guy A: WE DUNNA LIKEA BE IGNOOORED!

Reverie and Rei: ...

Okim Cable Guy B: (revives by Omake Magick, then dies again for no real apparent reason)

Reverie: Well, that just saved us a lot of time! (turns to Akaiokami) YOUR ASS IS MINE, OKAMI BOY!

Akaiokami: Hey, what happened to the Holy Sensory?

Fia: (walks in, grinning) I blew it up with my Holy Hand Grenade!

Okim Cable Guy A: NO! NOT THE HOLY HAND GRENADE! (roars)

Fia: YES! The Holy Hand Grenade! NOW DIE! SLOWLY AND PAINFULLY! BWAHAHAHA! (tosses the Holy Hand Grenade at Okim Cable Guy A and he explodes)

Okim Cable Guy A: Does this mean I don't get my raise at AT&T? (dies)

Akaiokami: NO! MY USELESS MINIONS IMPORTANCE HAS ALL BEEN FOR NAUGHT! DIE YOU EVIL PUNKS!

(Reverie, Rei, and Fia does a Charlie's Angels pose)

Akaiokami: DAMMIT! RARR! (turns into an even bigger Okim, tearing the Starbucks Coffee apart)

Reverie: (gasp) In the name of all coffee....

Rei: ...this fiend....

Fia: ...shall pay!

(a flashy battle scene ensues where everyone starts attacking at Akaiokami, and it becomes one of those stupid cliched scenes when right where you think all hope is lost for our moronic trio, things does an amazing turn and Akaiokami is killed when Fia tosses the Holy Hand Grenade in Akaiokami's mouth, and Reverie pulls out her Holy Machine Gun o' Death and starts firing at the sucker's head, laughing insanely just to make the readers and Rei and Fia question her sanity)

Akaiokami: THIS ISN'T HOW IT WAS SUPPOSED TO END! OH CRUEL FATE! OH, THE IRONY! I'M MELTING! MELTING I TELL YOU! MEEELTIIIING! (dies)

(everyone whoops, cheers, and high fives each other)

Rei: Yeah!

Reverie: That is what you get....

Fia: ...when you mess with us!

(the three turns back to the broken down restraunt and sighs)

Rei: (sweatdrops) Bet our insurance won't cover this, will it? Eheh.

Reverie: Ah, it's only Starbucks. No one cares about Starbucks anymore, do they? All what it is, is a stupid disgrace to coffee. AND THOSE CABLE GUYS WERE A DISGRACE TO ALL COMPUTERS FOR (--censored--) MY INTERNET CONNECTION! THERE SHALL BE HELL TO PAY! (runs at the dead Okim Cable Guys and beats the holy tar out of their carcasses)

Fia and Rei: ...

Rei: I think some more tranquilizer calls for this one.

Fia: Yup. (pulls out a syringe from nowhere, and starts walking up to Reverie from behind, frowning) Poor child. (sticks it into her back)

Reverie: (stops beating the holy tar out of the Okim Cable Guys and passes out) Sleepy....

(Ragnar walks in randomly and pointlessly, tosses the sleeping Reverie over his shoulder and walks out, Rei and Fia follows them back to Reverie's dream house, where everyone seems to be sitting in front of the television set. Instantaneously, Ragnar sees his deed is done and exits)

Rei: ...Fia, might I ask what you and Ragnar were doing earlier?

Fia: Umm...playing Twister. Yeah, that's it.

Rei: I don't even know you anymore. -_-

Fia: Sounds like a good deal to me.

Rei: Hey!

Fia: (hums as she turns to the other direction with her hands behind her back, smiling and leaves the area)

Nook: (sarcastically) Woof.

Reverie: (wakes up again, even though it hasn't been three hours, hence the time limit the previous time) Ugh...damn Cable Guys (--censored--)ed up my computer. There shall be much reckoning to the next asshole who touches my computer! To this I swear! ...and while I am at it, I'll destroy the censoring guy as well!

Censoring Guy: (hides) ...I'll...erm...just go back to Dee's fanfics again.... (runs)

(no one notices he left)

Orion: Until next time, however, Reverie go sleepy nighty-night. (holds up some more tranquilizer, injects her with some more)

Reverie: Yes...sleepy nighty-night sound good.... (curls up and falls asleep over her Lazy Boy Cloud and snores)

Cast: (stares blankly for a moment, then turns and leaves, therefore bringing the end to our omake. Until next time, there shall be interviews with any and [possibly] every character. God save us all!)

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				*The Lupis Project* *Episode 4: The Cable Guy Rebellion*



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		(Setting: Reverie's Dream House...since her own sucks and is too small to carry all the characters that are gathered in this omake.) (TLP Characters Involved: Rei, Fia, Orion, Nickoli, Bekah, Teji, Taj, Akaiokami, Nook...don't ask me why, he'll just be there.) Reverie: (screams in frustration) Xaden: (grunts, wakes up, falls off the couch and looks around, eyes wide open) Wha...huh?! What happened?! Where's the army?! (sees no one, then nods, curls up on the couch, and falls asleep again) Rest of TLP Cast: (twitches) Now what?! Reverie: "Ooo, Broadband will be sooo great!" they say! "Yeah, you'll be screaming you're head off once you find the true power of Broadband!" they'll continue! But nooo, IT WAS ALL A SCAM, I TELL YOU! ONE MUTHER(--censored--) SCAM! I'M SCREAMING MY HEAD OFF IN FRUSTRATION!!! Nook: (sarcastically) Woof. Nickoli: (pokes her back) Might I ask...what is a scam? Reverie: It's evil, I tell you! Pure evil! The cable guys come, they try to hook up Broadband, a supposedly "great internet access thinggie," and all that it does good is to NOT WORK AND TAKE AWAY MY ORIGINAL INTERNET ACCESS SO THAT I AM STUCK WITH MANY RPGS TO WORK WITH, HUNDREDS OF JUNK MAIL TO DELETE, AND MANY OTHER MISSED EMAILS ONCE I FIGURE THIS (--censored--) THING OUT! (screams again) Orion: Why is there censoring, by the way? Reverie: (shrugs) Dee did it, thought that it might add to the humor, since most of this is just to blow off a bunch of steam to begin with. Bekah: Figures. Must be a writer thing. "Thou shalt take anger out naught on homo sapiens nor other living things, but take it out on them in literary format." (grins) Reuel: (walks by randomly...luckily fully clothed. But this might change soon....) Wulph (Reverie's friend): (points to Reuel) PIT STICK! (runs and glomps his arm) Reuel: O.o (shakes her off) Wulph: (slides down and glomps his leg instead, rubbing her face against his jeans) Pit Sticky! Reverie: (smacks her forehead) I have no idea why she likes Reuel so much. Reuel: Hey! (tries to kick Wulph off him) I'm a married man still! Of course, my wife is dead, but OBSERVE THE RING! (holds up his wedding band) Wulph: ...so? Reuel: ... Nook: (sarcastically) Woof. Taj: (runs around randomly in the background) THE END IS NIGH! Rei: ...I speak no evil. Rarr. Orion: ... All: ... Joy (a friend of Reverie's who happens to be a bible thumper): THE END IS NIGH! WE ARE ALL DOOMED INTO ETERNAL DAMNATION! All: ... Reverie: Okay, this is my omake! EVERYONE WHO ISN'T OF THE LUPIS PROJECT EXCEPT FOR YOURS TRULY: OUT! OUT! OUT! (boots a very happy Wulph and Reuel off to Lemon Land and Joy back to Hawaii so that they're out of the omake) For the love of Kiaka.... (smacks her forehead) How hard is it to vent on someone who just (--censored--) you're internet system? Orion: ...well, you can always try and write an omake. Bekah: (whacks the back of his head) What do you think she's doing now, idiot? Rei: (eyes glare red) DON'T TOUCH MY ORION! (kicks her) Bekah: (sarcastically) Ow. (twitches) All: ... Reverie: Anyway.... (takes up a pitchfork and a torch from nowhere) Time to do some venting. Cast: O.O Taj: Um, someone mind holding her down while I get the tranquilizer? Teji: Already on it. RAGNAR! (Ragnar comes in randomly with some bunji cords, picks up Reverie like she's a doll, and ties her down to a stretcher so that she can't move. Then since he had no other purpose in the omake, he leaves without saying a word) Reverie: (naturally struggles) ...YOU CAN'T DO THIS! Teji: Sure we can! ^-^ Taj: (hands Teji the tranquilizer) Rei: Does anyone find this a little cruel? I mean, she is our creator after all. (reflects all that Reverie puts her through) Ah, this isn't too bad. BURN HER AT THE STAKE! BURN THE WITCH! Reverie: ... Bekah: Since y'all are hesitating.... (snatches the syringe from Teji's hand, and sticks it into Reverie's upper arm) DIE BITCH, DIE! Teji: (pokes Bekah) Uhh, it doesn't kill her. Bekah: ...damn! Damn it all to Hell! Reverie: ...OH THE HUMANITY! OH THE IRONY! I MUST....ve...ve...ven...t.... (falls asleep) (FF8's Censored: Please Stand By sign appears) --random quote alert--"I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it." - John F. Kennedy when asked what is his favorite song--end of random quote-- (now we return to you're regular scheduled omake) Nook: (sarcastically) Woof. (everyone is scattered around Reverie's dream house, which would continently consist of Lazy Boy reclining chairs, couches, and clouds...don't ask) Rei: (checks the clock) It's been three hours. Bekah: Taj, how much was in there? Taj: I just got however much I could. Teji: (smacks his forehead) You idiot.... Taj: What? You don't think I do these sorts of things for a living? I saw it all on ER last week, it's always easy for them. (shrugs) Reverie: ... (groans, waking up and finds herself bounded by the stretcher) Okay, someone is gonna die if they don't get me out of here. Seriously, I'm you're creator! I BROUGHT YOU ALL INTO THIS WORLD, I CAN EASILY TAKE YOU ALL OUT! Cast: O.O Reverie: ...any day now! Cast: ... Reverie: NOW! Orion: Think we should...? Rei: (shaking her head) No. Orion: (nods) Okay. Reverie: YOU'LL ALL DIE ONE DAY! ONE DAY! BWAHAHAHA! Bekah: If we let you go, promise you won't go insane on us again? Reverie: Well, not on you guys. Cast: ...WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?! Reverie: (malicious grin) You'll see. Just be a good bunch of characters and lemme go! Nickoli: (walks over apprehensively with a key in hand) Nook: (sarcastically) Woof. Reverie: (grins) Nickoli: ...hey, she's already unlocked! Reverie: Exactly. (gets up, does a slow-mo karate kick in the air from the stretcher, and knocks Nickoli backwards over a Lazy Boy Cloud. Lands back onto the ground, popping her knuckles and does a martial arts stance) Anyone wanna peice of me? Cast: ... o.O Nickoli: Owie.... Orion: That wasn't called for! Reverie: Of course it was! ^-^ Teji: QUICK, SOMEONE, SUSTAIN HER! Reverie: Weeeeeee! (holds her hand out like a football player as everyone tries to tackle her, running passed them and knocking everyone to the side, flying over chairs and knocking random stuff here and there over) NO ONE CAN STOP ME FROM GETTING MY REVENGE NOW! TO STARBUCKS COFFEE! ...just because I never liked the place. (runs out) Rei: (clicks on her intercom) Grey Wolf to Red Chick. Grey Wolf to Red Chick, this is Grey Wolf. The Essayist Loon has left the building! I repeat: The Essayist Loon has left the building! Cast: ... Fia (INTERCOM): ...Rei? What're you talkin about?! Orion: Okay, I am now thoroughly confused. Bekah: You can say that again. Nickoli: Umm...a little help here? I think I just broke my spine.... (twitch) ETAI! Fia (INTERCOM): Rei, follow her and see what she's up to. I'm a little...busy. (clicky-click) Ragnar (INTERCOM): SPINY! ...left hand on red! Fia (INTERCOM): Hee, that tickled! Rei: O_O (drops the mic) Oh my god.... Cast: (too stunned and scared to say anything else) (meanwhile, at Starbucks Coffee) Akaiokami: (crashes into Starbucks) Hi there, everyone! Hope you don't mind me barging in like this, I just wanted to let y'all know that I'm gonna kill you all. I hope you won't mind, too kindly! Hey, me want coffee! (insane laugh) I just wanted to get you're consent...wait, no I didn't! (insane laugh again) Man In Background: OH MY GOD! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! Akaiokami: ...well, duh. Didn't I just say that? Hey, where's my coffee? Clerk: Uh, s-sir, I'm sorry, we have a long line of people-- Akaiokami: Oh, that's too bad. What line of people? Clerk: (looks down at the huge line of dead civilians) OH MY GOD, WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! Akaiokami: (rolls eyes) Is there anyone who can give me my DAMN coffee?! (the door behind him crashes open so hard, they fly off, one door hits in the clerk in the face) Clerk: Oh cruel fate! (dies) Akaiokami: Hm. Well, that was uncanny. Reverie: AKAIOKAMI, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! Akaiokami: Eh? (turns around and waves) Oh, hi writer woman lady person! Mind making me some coffee? Reverie: (glares) Don't play cute with me, mister! You KNOW I'm here on business! Akaiokami: Business? Eh? What'choo talkin about? Reverie: YOU ORDERED THOSE CABLE GUYS TO COME OVER HERE AND (--censored--) MY INTERNET CONNECTION TO (--censored--) (--censored--) (--censored--) YOU MUTHER(--censored--) (--censored--)!!! Akaiokami: (blinks) Well, the least you can do is calm down just a little-- Reverie: I DON'T HAVE TIME TO CALM DOWN! I WANT YOU TO EITHER GIVE ME ANOTHER (--censored--) COMPUTER OR (--censored--) FIX IT! Akaiokami: ...how bout makin me some coffee? Reverie: (screams furiously) Akaiokami: (cringes) ...okay then. Umm.... I have no idea what you're talking about? Reverie: YES YOU DO! Akaiokami: No I don't. Reverie: YES YOU DO! Akaiokami: No I don't. Reverie: YES YOU DO! Akaiokami: No I don't. Reverie: YES YOU DO! Akaiokami: No I don't. Reverie: YES YOU DO! Akaiokami: ...shut up. Reverie: BITE ME! Akaiokami: Okay! (starts walking towards her) Reverie: (glares) Not that sort of bite, perv! Akaiokami: (skulks, disappointed) Fine. Rei: (enters) What's up--? (glares at the red-armored freak) Akaiokami, what're you doing here? Reverie: (points at Akaiokami) HE'S THE ONE THAT MESSED UP MY INTERNET CONNECTION! I CAN PROVE IT! Akaiokami: Don't be foolish, foolish human! T'wasn't me who messed with you're connection! (laughs menacingly) ^-^ Reverie: Then who did?! Akaiokami: A couple of friends of mind. (snaps his fingers, and the two cable guys who (--censored--) Reverie's internet connection appear from the back room) Cable Guy A: (holding up a pot) You're coffee, sir! Cable Guy B: French Vanilla, no mayo...I mean...whipping cream...I mean.... Cream. Yeah! There is absolutely no creams in you're coffee, O Great One! Cable Guy A: (thwacks Cable Guy B) Moron! (turns to Akaiokami) You're Greatness, HERE IS YOUR COFFEE! Reverie: (glares) You scum! You make me sick! Rei: ...erm...YEAH! Reverie: (turns to Rei) Let's put the fact that I'm so mean to you, and you can totally beat the crap out of me aside, and join forces to defeat Akaiokami and the Cable Guys? Of course, it'll be a two to three fight, but what the hell, we can beat em, right? Rei: (shrugs) Whatever. Reverie: ...right. And like you two aren't human? Cable Guy A: As a matter of fact.... (transforms into an insanely huge Okim) Cable Guy B: (does the same) ...we aren't. (Ultima Weapon Theme from FF8 starts playing) (Insert: Battle Scene) Rei: WIRED ATTACK FROM THE ABYSS OF DEN DOOM! (does a drop kick in the air, flips, and attacks Okim Cable Guy B first) Okim Cable Guy B: Well now, that can't be good. SPARE THE CHEESE, O GREAT ONE! (dies for no real apparent reason) Reverie: (quirks a brow, oblivious to Rei's victory) Wired Attack From The Abyss of Den Doom? Rei: What? I don't have that kind of originality like you do. Reverie: Considering that I am the one writing this? Rei: And I was created from you? Akaiokami and Okim Cable Guy A: WE DUNNA LIKEA BE IGNOOORED! Reverie and Rei: ... Okim Cable Guy B: (revives by Omake Magick, then dies again for no real apparent reason) Reverie: Well, that just saved us a lot of time! (turns to Akaiokami) YOUR ASS IS MINE, OKAMI BOY! Akaiokami: Hey, what happened to the Holy Sensory? Fia: (walks in, grinning) I blew it up with my Holy Hand Grenade! Okim Cable Guy A: NO! NOT THE HOLY HAND GRENADE! (roars) Fia: YES! The Holy Hand Grenade! NOW DIE! SLOWLY AND PAINFULLY! BWAHAHAHA! (tosses the Holy Hand Grenade at Okim Cable Guy A and he explodes) Okim Cable Guy A: Does this mean I don't get my raise at AT&T? (dies) Akaiokami: NO! MY USELESS MINIONS IMPORTANCE HAS ALL BEEN FOR NAUGHT! DIE YOU EVIL PUNKS! (Reverie, Rei, and Fia does a Charlie's Angels pose) Akaiokami: DAMMIT! RARR! (turns into an even bigger Okim, tearing the Starbucks Coffee apart) Reverie: (gasp) In the name of all coffee.... Rei: ...this fiend.... Fia: ...shall pay! (a flashy battle scene ensues where everyone starts attacking at Akaiokami, and it becomes one of those stupid cliched scenes when right where you think all hope is lost for our moronic trio, things does an amazing turn and Akaiokami is killed when Fia tosses the Holy Hand Grenade in Akaiokami's mouth, and Reverie pulls out her Holy Machine Gun o' Death and starts firing at the sucker's head, laughing insanely just to make the readers and Rei and Fia question her sanity) Akaiokami: THIS ISN'T HOW IT WAS SUPPOSED TO END! OH CRUEL FATE! OH, THE IRONY! I'M MELTING! MELTING I TELL YOU! MEEELTIIIING! (dies) (everyone whoops, cheers, and high fives each other) Rei: Yeah! Reverie: That is what you get.... Fia: ...when you mess with us! (the three turns back to the broken down restraunt and sighs) Rei: (sweatdrops) Bet our insurance won't cover this, will it? Eheh. Reverie: Ah, it's only Starbucks. No one cares about Starbucks anymore, do they? All what it is, is a stupid disgrace to coffee. AND THOSE CABLE GUYS WERE A DISGRACE TO ALL COMPUTERS FOR (--censored--) MY INTERNET CONNECTION! THERE SHALL BE HELL TO PAY! (runs at the dead Okim Cable Guys and beats the holy tar out of their carcasses) Fia and Rei: ... Rei: I think some more tranquilizer calls for this one. Fia: Yup. (pulls out a syringe from nowhere, and starts walking up to Reverie from behind, frowning) Poor child. (sticks it into her back) Reverie: (stops beating the holy tar out of the Okim Cable Guys and passes out) Sleepy.... (Ragnar walks in randomly and pointlessly, tosses the sleeping Reverie over his shoulder and walks out, Rei and Fia follows them back to Reverie's dream house, where everyone seems to be sitting in front of the television set. Instantaneously, Ragnar sees his deed is done and exits) Rei: ...Fia, might I ask what you and Ragnar were doing earlier? Fia: Umm...playing Twister. Yeah, that's it. Rei: I don't even know you anymore. -_- Fia: Sounds like a good deal to me. Rei: Hey! Fia: (hums as she turns to the other direction with her hands behind her back, smiling and leaves the area) Nook: (sarcastically) Woof. Reverie: (wakes up again, even though it hasn't been three hours, hence the time limit the previous time) Ugh...damn Cable Guys (--censored--)ed up my computer. There shall be much reckoning to the next asshole who touches my computer! To this I swear! ...and while I am at it, I'll destroy the censoring guy as well! Censoring Guy: (hides) ...I'll...erm...just go back to Dee's fanfics again.... (runs) (no one notices he left) Orion: Until next time, however, Reverie go sleepy nighty-night. (holds up some more tranquilizer, injects her with some more) Reverie: Yes...sleepy nighty-night sound good.... (curls up and falls asleep over her Lazy Boy Cloud and snores) Cast: (stares blankly for a moment, then turns and leaves, therefore bringing the end to our omake. Until next time, there shall be interviews with any and [possibly] every character. God save us all!) [ episode three ] [ home ] [ omake ] [ read the damned story ]



		characters and content © rebecca/reverie w. 2001-03 censoring guy © by dee read her fanfics - very funny